Is Spanking Your Child Okay?
Experts say Oh No! A lot of parents say Oh Yes! What do You think?
To reach a consensus, let’s use the American Academy of Pediatrics’ definition of spanking: “striking a child with an open hand on the buttocks or extremities with the intention of modifying behavior without causing physical injury”.
For decades, experts have said spanking just doesn’t work and dangerous besides. Spanking teaches children to fear, not respect, their parents plus using force not only potentially has the ability to hurt a child but also influence his value judgement by thinking that it IS okay to hurt other people if you don’t like what they did and or you want them to do something.
So why do parents still do it? I think, what’s more important than the act itself is what you do before and after you spank your child. You have to be able to balance your behavior with an explanation of why it has happened and what happens next. If your child is throwing a god-almighty tantrum and all means of trying to reason with him is exhausted, spanking may be a stopgap approach coupled with “time out” to stop the situation.
Discussing spanking is like treading in dangerous waters. Ask a dozen parents and you’ll end up with a dozen different reasons for why or why not a parent should spank their child. Most of it has to do with our own experiences growing up. Are we worse off being spanked? Was it a habitual thing. While spanking instills its lessons, hitting a child consistently for everything negates its effectiveness and can result in violent behavior.
A lot would say, why not hit someone your size?! Let’s face it, spanking is a form of establishing authority and boundaries with your child. If it is done to “teach a lesson” and is not done often, then it may well work.
The same way that it IS sometimes okay to let your children see parents fight AND make up [of the nonsexual kind please!], spanking sometimes work but only if your children respects you to start with. Remember that children watch and imitate what we do.
| 2.5 |
I do think other forms of discipline should be tried before resorting to a spanking. With my 3 kids, I find that timeouts or the removal of privileges/favorite toys seems to work better and make more of an impact. I believe a spanking can definitely make a point, but at the same time, I don’t think it should be a primary form of discipline. So much research indicates that other forms of discipline are more effective and create a better atmosphere in the home. There is actually a great debate about spanking at http://www.opposingviews.com/questions/is-spanking-an-acceptable-form-of-discipline. Experts from both sides weigh in and make some thought-provoking points on the issue.